Happily Ever After

Aurelia: "What's the occasion? Why so happy?"

Bernice: "Yes yes what's up?"

Michael: "Haha I was looking thru all the notes my friends sent me from home. Just rmbring everything I've been thru and how much I'm loved."

I was actually feeling quite down this morning for a whole myriad of reasons, least not the impending doom of multiple essays. After journalling (which I hadn't done for the longest time), I decided to put up all the pictures and stuff I had yet to paste onto my wall now that I had some Blu-tac to use. While putting up pictures of my family, of the Trackers, of friends, then re-reading the notes people from all over had given to me before leaving, I felt immeasureably touched.

Right now, alongside the pictures of Kai, which have been there since I arrived, I've tacked on my family, my siblings and the Trackers - plus the Trackers' Graduation ceremony invitation card! I managed to fix back (half of) the gift that Tiffany made for me and put it on my wall (the other half needs more work). My wardrobe is also now gloriously adorned with notes from Josh Woo & parents, Tiffany, Ying En, Valentia and Cheryl Cheah. I think I might have more to put up too! :)

Yay. I'm blissfully happy. Off to grocery shopping now!

Mysteries I've Never Understood

How fast you collapse.

How torn my heart can be.

How strong I can be in weakness (or how weak I can be in strength).

How a distant songwriter can write the lyrics of my pain.

How we will ever move forward.

Remember, remember...

The 5th of November!

I've watched V for Vendetta and I know about Guy Fawkes and all, but just BEING in York for Guy Fawkes' Day was one of those experiences I'll never forget. One of those things to say when people ask, "Why UK?" and "Why York?"

I had a so-so day in school before tonight, honestly. Discussion Group for Making History went as usual, but I couldn't follow Aurelia and Bernice out to Morrisons for grocery shopping. At the very least, I managed to get some studying done (while Aurelia conked out on her table) and had a good talk with Luke, Bernice and Aurelia in her kitchen. When Bernice came back after meeting her supervisor, I walked her back to Goodricke in the darkening skies of 4.30pm and we discussed rather excitably about our plans to basically tour all of the UK X)

It was on the walk back to campus that I started hearing the crackle and burst of distant fireworks, but I couldn't see any...yet. While walking from Vanbrugh to the CU Fireworks event about 15min away, I started smelling the lingering whiff of gunpowder in the air.

THEN! I saw the whizz of an orange rocket about 100m away into the cloudy night sky, and BAM! It exploded into a burst of light! Amazingly, that was followed by another, and another, then yet another splash of sparkles further off! I was so, so amazed and I whipped out my camera for what turned out to be a series of videos (some more fail than others) trying to capture the beauty of the moment: Under a cloudy blue-black sky, with the chilly 8 deg.C air tainted with gunpowder and the sound of crackling and explosions all around, as the sky lights up with a myriad of colours!

-sigh...- :)

Having finally arrived at Alex's place at Fifth Avenue, I wolfed down a variety of cheesy nachos, pretzels and the like while making small talk, waiting for some of the guys to bring back the bonfire-wood. When they came in carrying crate-skids, I couldn't help following them out to the darkened lawn to jump on the wood to snap it and arrange the broken pieces to make a little campfire spot. Actually, I was quite useless because I was too light, but it was still fun! I helped to wrench out the stubborn pieces with my hands instead! Haha...

So, YES! Much junk food, a baked potato and lots of smoke in my eyes later, we'd managed to set up a little bonfire in Alex's backyard! We played with sparklers (like back in Singapore!) around the fire and squeezed in a group shot too. Michael from Goodricke brought us cups of mulled wine (officially among my favourite drinks now!) as we retreated to the safety of the porch; meanwhile, Johnny (or was it Alex?) attempted to rig up a firework - but failed at the first attempt. I have a video of us all standing expectantly, looking rather silly waiting for the never-to-come eruption of light :P

Finally, someone dared to scuttle over to the bonfire, light the firework proper and RUN LIKE HELL! And *wheeeee!!!!* off went the colourful sparkles into the night sky!

I stayed to watch another similar firework go off (louder than the previous!) before having to zip off for CU Football back in campus. I was a bit bummed because I didn't get to see any of the REALLY EXPLOSIVE fireworks, but I had some consolation as I saw people releasing little candle-hot air balloons into the sky. I thought that was really beautiful, but they were so small that I couldn't take any really clear pictures.

--

I chatted with Edd and Josh en route to the astroturf (like ACS(Ind)!) and it was great to make deeper friendships while going for a game :P When we finally arrived, it was a little chaotic, because most of the rest were already there. I just took off my windbreaker at first, thinking that I'd freeze to death in the cold while playing. After playing for 25min, I quite changed my mind and stripped off my athletics sweater to play in a T-shirt at 7-8 Celsius. Probably one of the craziest things I've done thus far! Hahaha... But it was really great fun and I was STILL sweating, incredibly!

But, on to another highlight of my night, I was actually playing reasonably well in spite of the fact I played like absolute rubbish in Singapore before coming, and I had a few chances to score - including one that got deflected so, so agonisingly wide! However, when one of our team's wingers struck a hopeful ball in front of the penalty area, the defender in front of me mistimed his kick and I was free on goal! I took a touch and tried to dink the ball over the 'keeper with my left foot (which is rubbish). The 'keeper managed to touch it, but he couldn't keep it out and the ball bounced past the line into the goal! I actually scored! Whee!

--

Yes, I had a great Guy Fawkes' Day. Fireworks were great and football was fantastic. My only regret is not going for Late Night Worship thereafter, but I really was quite tired so I headed back for a nice Beef Broth in my kitchen. Which rounded up nicely one of my most wonderful nights in the UK. Yay!

missing you

yes, i really, really do.

Late Night Goodness

Among the perks of living in York must be the easy access to little food delights. Just tonight, after walking the hunger-inducing distance from Goodricke, it was awesome to toast for myself 2 slices of wholemeal bread, ate alongside some smooth camembert and sitting in my dingy kitchen feeling like the world is wonderful.

I guess the long walk back was even better than usual this time around. I normally enjoy the walk, but after the late night worship at the Quiet Place, I felt more spiritually invigorated and alive. There's just something spectacular about gazing into the sky and watching the dark clouds obscure the moon at irregular intervals. To cast your eyes far into the distance and find that there is a scarcely-visible horizon of sky and field, shaded by the moonlight. To hear the haunting, howling wind rushing across the empty fields of Heslington East like cars zipping down the highway. To be kissed by the chill of the midnight air, clenching and unclenching my fingers to keep the blood flowing.

Too often in Singapore, I stay up at night for mundane reasons. Tonight, exposed and aware of the elements around me, I ceased to exist and started to breathe, to live. To crown that myriad of sensory experiences with delightfully warm toast and camembert felt bizarrely heavenly.

All I Need is You

Don't ask why, because I cannot explain the ebb-and-flow tides of emotions that buffet against the sandbanks of my soul. The gnawing bite of insecurity in particular is a feeling utterly foreign to me, till now. It could be that I'm so detached from all my traditional sources of strength, bar God. Like I said, don't ask me why, for I cannot explain it.

The strange thing is how I feel perfectly fine - not homesick or particularly miserable. Yet, I discover this wealth of ache that nibbles at me inexplicably. There hides in my heart some sadness that I have yet to pinpoint, yet to counter.

My relief is in the presence of God.

Charles XII

No, this isn't a history post. That's the name of the nearest commercial bar to the University, and I just had a drink there. The atmosphere is way better than V-Bar and most of the other college bars, and the drink selection is also much better.

I had a chilly glass of Captain Morgan spiced rum with Pepsi and sat reflectively alone just in front of the bar counter. It was nice weather to think - cold, post-rain winds billowing outside and a radiator-warm bar inside. Trashy music, I'll give you that, but wonderful surroundings to just draw in a deep breath (or two) and clear the clogged thoughts from my muddled mind, and the inexplicable emotions in a confused heart.

It's been a strange time here in York. I'm still not homesick - I feel totally comfortable in this place, even including the weather - and I'm getting into the groove of both the lifestyle and university studying life here as well. What I find I do miss most from home is actually the time-honoured network of steadfast friends who have given me much strength and love over my years in Singapore. Kai and family, I can Skype easily, but for many of my deep, deep friends, I find that I have taken you for granted, and now that I'm apart from you, I feel like a part of my soul is impoverished and sad.

So, from over 6000 miles away, a big -HUG- and thank you. I wish I could treat you to a good pint of cider over at Charles XII but, in the absence of that, my very sincere thanks, and know that I miss you all.